Not a day goes by…
Not a day goes by that I don't think about Hao. While I only knew Hao for 8 years, he had such an impact on my life. I've been on this page drafting a tribute for a long time now, ready to click "Submit Tribute" but then feeling like my words don't do him justice. How can I sum up what he meant to me and to everyone who knew him in a few paragraphs? It's not possible, but I'll do my best.
Mila and Aleks your dad was an incredible person. One of a kind. He was the reason I joined RKE. We bonded at my first interview at the firm, talking tax code and tax principles. Within a few minutes, I knew this guy was smart. Not just smart, but SMART. Your dad was such a comforting presence for me. When a tough client situation arose or a complex tax issue presented, it was such a comfort going to Hao for his opinion. Getting your dad's concurrence on a tax issue was like gold. He had a way of thinking about issues from all angles. Truly one of the best professionals I have ever worked with (and there have been some very great ones).
Beyond work stuff, we had the most fun and interesting conversations. Who would win in a fight....a grizzly bear or a tiger? How much money would it take to for you eat a 15 ounce jar of Best Foods mayonnaise in less than 20 minutes? We formulated Top 5 lists of favorite movies, favorite bands (or rappers). We talked about the absurdity of our political system. I loved watching your dad eat. He ate with purpose. He told me that as a kid he would buy Top Ramen packages (10 for $1) and would eat the ramen without cooking it like chips with a flavored seasoning packet because dry ramen noodles was what was in the budget. I learned about his childhood and what he lived through traveling to the US and landing in Sacramento. The paper route, living on little to no sleep because of it. Your dad was an incredible athlete too. He was a great football player as a wide receiver and safety. I wish I could have seen him play. He was probably the best teammate and most selfless player on the field. I imagine he was always encouraging his teammates and always had their backs. He had my back on so many occasions. I wish I had known your dad when I was a kid. I know we would have been good friends and classmates.
Your dad really enjoyed traveling. I wish we had arranged times where we could have traveled to the same destination at the same time. Travel with your dad would have been an adventure. Your dad didn't travel by brochure. He told me that once at the destination he would find the most quaint and infrequently visited spots where he could just be there with your mom, enjoy the peace and quiet and admire the surroundings. Every time I go to Maui, I stop in at Java Jazz and imagine seeing your dad sitting at the bar having a coffee or a beer and enjoying the unique atmosphere (you must go someday!). The pictures here are from Java Jazz, you will love it. I didn't know your dad and mom before they were married, and your dad described their wedding day minute-by-minute in great detail. I wish I could have been there on Maui that day. As he described it, the wedding was simple and devoid of needless frills and complication. He grinned from ear to ear when he talked about it. I think you will love Maui like your dad did.
Mila and Aleks you were your dad's pride and joy. My kids are about 14 and 10 years older, and it was such a joy hearing him talk about you both as it reminded me of what it was like when my kids were your age. I'm sorry to say that he told me he was terrified of the day you would learn about Disneyland. Crowds, commercialism, eight-story parking lots....these were not your dad's favorite things. But. He would have done it for you. I know he would have. And he would have reveled in the joy that it brought you. And for that...for him.... it would be worth the crowds, the overpriced churros and turkey legs, the parking lot tram rides, and the electrical light parade (cue annoying "electrified" music here). He would have loved to carry you out of the park at midnight with you fast asleep on his shoulder.
Your dad didn't suffer fools. We would have a good chuckle at some of the people we came across. Often times we would be hanging out after work and there would be long moments of silence, but they were comfortable. I was not given the gift of gab, but that was perfectly fine with your dad. He would fill in for me when he could. Your dad was very generous. He spared no expense for those he loved and cared for. He absolutely loved your mom and respected her tremendously. They were like peas in a pod. I swear they could communicate full paragraphs in three words and a look.
I'm sure I haven't said enough, so I'll return later and post for as long as your mom keeps the website going.
Hao - I miss you dude. I miss seeing you at work everyday. I miss "office hours" outside in the parking lot...I always knew when and where I could find you. I've got nothing but "thank you-s" for you. Thank you for being my business partner, confidant and mostly my friend.
Until we meet again...
