Always a special part of my life.

I met Hao when we were 9. It’s always tough being the new kid, but I was lucky to find a quickly formed, tight knit elementary school group. We were always so proud of ourselves for being the “diverse” group. Rufus was African American, Mike was Mexican, Hao was Asian, and I was the Italian. As the youngest children in our families, we quickly bonded over our love for sports, being ruckus boys, and at every opportunity, you could find us playing sports at recess or after school. As we grew, and new friends came into our lives, our group dispersed a bit. However, in high school, I remained really close with Hao. I spent many nights at his house as he did not have a curfew and I did. I didn’t realize Hao’s work ethic, brilliance, generosity, and caring demeanor until later in life. The kid would wake up at 2:30 A.M. every morning to deliver 300+ newspapers and I would wonder why he was always so tired. I would call him on the weekends in the late afternoon only to hear his mom say, “Howie sleeping.” I remember in Geometry when he let me copy him one time during a test and I got a better grade than he did. Boy, he never let me live that down. He gave and gave without asking for much in return, always wanting to help someone out, whether stranger or close friend. If anyone ever needed a dollar or two for lunch, Hao was the person they went to. Unfortunately, I think people rarely ever paid him back. I also never understood his brilliance until somehow I found out he got some scholarship money to LMU, in part, for almost acing the SAT. As adults, we didn’t speak or see each other much. But, when we did connect, it seemed like little time had passed. I didn’t know Hao was ill until 5 days before he passed. I feel extremely fortunate to have spent a little time with him during his last couple of days. During that time, his selflessness shined through again. He asked about my family, how many more years I was going to teach before I retire, asked about my wife(who he also knew growing up), and if we ever did buy that cabin in the mountains. He was simple, yet complex; reclusive, yet social; hard working, yet liked to chill. He didn’t show much emotion, but if you ever heard his cackle when he found something funny, consider yourself one of the lucky ones. My life is richer for knowing and sharing my childhood with Hao; he is more like a brother to me than a friend and before leaving the hospital I held his hand, kissed him on the head and shared, “I love you brother.” My memories growing up with Hao will live on forever and continue to fill my heart.